Long time since I've put thoughts on paper. Work has been busy. And I didn't think I would be writing about re-current Thymoma again. It was very difficult for me to hear the words once more ... time stopped for a short moment the afternoon of 28th Feb 2013. I only heard the words Cancer-Returned-Left Lung. My heart raced, my skin crawled and suddenly I'm unable to control my emotions, body language ... everything. This unwelcome and uninvited life partner invaded my body again. I recall hearing the voice on the other side of phone .."
There's a nodule in the left anterior chest wall". Why me I thought. I only have on lung - don't do this to me.
My first thoughts were how can this happen, I've been working so hard, I'm not ready to die, I'm preparing for a Cancer Fundraising Walk on 9-10th Nov and I just have to be there .. the narrative was endless. Good thing was my doctors where there to catch me as I was free falling ... I was in safe hands and within a day we planned our attack. Decided to wait for 4 months for any changes to determine whether in fact it was thymoma or perhaps just a lymph node behaving badly.
The PET soon confirmed an SUV of 2.4 (hardly and issue in the eyes of the specialists). I didn't agree as regardless of an uptake ... any level of activity in a cell is a cause for concern. I wanted the nodule removed immediately Brian agreed, but was more cautious than I given the risks of operating on someone with only one lung. So, a date for surgery was scheduled for July 9th - exactly 4 years since the initial diagnosis.
I needed an anchor? What could I control? The immediate answer was 'My mind, my thoughts, my images of good health'. So, I took time off work, got on with yoga, meditation, mindfulness and spoke to my wonderful oncology counsellor, Angela, who quickly made me realise that anything I was doing which didn't contribute to my health was in fact A WASTE OF TIME ... I was on track. What a life saver!
Since Feb 2013 I haven't looked back. Latest CT indicates I'm clear .. I've conquered it again.
Stay positive, focus on where you need to be, don't look back and most importantly surround yourself with positive people xx
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| Testing the oxygenation - 100% (tick) |
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| Testing breathing capacity - 45% (tick) |
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| Ready for surgery - afraid |
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| Scar one week post Left Anterior Thoracotomy |
